Mind Your Own Business

The Lord once gave me a vision of a minister I know who was covered in black clothing like a ninja. I shared this with a friend who also knows this minister. We agreed the meaning of this vision was this man being covered in deception because of not being accountable to others. 

However, being accountable doesn’t mean we must allow everyone to speak into our lives anytime they please. Yesterday I went out for breakfast with a group of men following a Bible study. One of them started offering suggestions I didn’t ask for. First, he urged me to find a helpmate and wanted to take me to his church because of the many single women there. He also kept asking how I support myself and talked about other ministries fundraising. Yet one of my rules as a minister is to avoid asking people for money.

Years ago a former co-worker of mine had a habit of sending me messages laced with unsolicited advice. In one email, he quoted 2 Thessalonians 3:10 (“If anyone will not work, neither shall he eat”) suggesting I’m in sin for not holding down a regular 40 hour/week job instead of traveling doing the Lord’s work. I replied by suggesting he read the very next verse. The Apostle Paul also comes against busybodies or as the New Living Translation says, “meddling in other people’s business.” One definition of meddle is “touch or handle something without permission.”

There is a difference between rebuking someone living in sin and simply giving someone our opinion. We should always be open to godly correction. Proverbs 19:20 says, “Listen to counsel and receive instruction, that you may be wise in your latter days.” But some people need to learn not to continuously overstep another person’s boundaries (especially on Facebook). It’s just plain rude!

When I’m out evangelizing, some sinners don’t want to hear the gospel. Even though God is “not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9), I have to back off when someone doesn’t want to get saved. God will not override another person’s will. One type of advice I particularly find annoying is when religious folk tell me how I should evangelize (such as never going out alone) but they won’t obey the Great Commission themselves!

Getting back to my former co-worker, I explained to him that what may not be the right way for him may be the right way for me. Finally, I had to stop communicating with this man because he repeatedly tried to get in the last word. Even Jesus sometimes walked away from the Pharisees when they continually harassed Him. 

It’s often been said opinions are like armpits…everyone has them and some of them stink. Christians would be wise to stop and pray first before telling anybody what he or she should do. Even a minister can unwittingly be used as a tool of Satan by misleading another believer down a destructive path. In 1 Kings 13, there’s an account of a prophet who gave direction supposedly from an angel that led another prophet to disobey the Lord and later got killed by a lion.

We are ultimately responsible for carrying out God’s plan for our lives, not someone else’s.

“If you suffer, however, it must not be for murder, stealing, making trouble, or prying into other people’s affairs.” - 1 Peter 4:15 (NLT)

Online Boundaries

For about a month now, I’ve experienced an unexpected surge of friend requests on Facebook. Until recently I might get one or two per day. Now they’re pouring in at an unprecedented rate. One morning I woke up and had sixty new friend requests waiting for me! 

A fellow evangelist I often work with has also seen this happen but only accepts friend requests from people he already knows. As for myself, I will accept most of them as long as my potential friend appears to be a committed Christian. They must also have a legitimate profile photo.

At the time of this writing, I now have over 3,600 Facebook friends from different parts of the world. Most of whom I’ve never met personally. Yet many of them want to chat immediately after I accept their friend request. That prompted me to draft a letter that I now display on my Facebook page. This letter clearly outlines things I will and won’t do online. I’ve had to email this letter to new friends who apparently didn’t notice it the first time.

I’ve used the “block messages” function on Messenger but still remain friends with individuals who persist in initiating conversations with me. This is not meant to be rude but to limit unnecessary distractions. Often new friends ask questions (like “Where are you from?”) that can be answered by simply looking at my Facebook page or examining my website.

During His earthly ministry, Jesus set boundaries regarding the people He spent time with. Jesus commissioned twelve apostles but only allowed three of them (Peter, James, and John) to come with Him on certain occasions such as the Mount of Transfiguration. He later appointed seventy others to do His work but they weren’t as close as the twelve who gathered with Him at the Last Supper. Jesus still needed time to get away to fellowship with the Father. 

A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect from certain people. Often I implement a “three strikes you’re out” rule on Facebook. If someone persists in violating my wishes by tagging me or posting things I don’t want on my wall, I will unfriend them.

I encourage you to set boundaries for yourself, especially when using social media. We need to be cautious in not allowing the Internet to rob time that should be devoted to prayer, reading God’s word, and fulfilling the Great Commission.

“redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” - Ephesians 5:16