Facebook Frustrations

Facebook is a marvelous tool to connect with people and minister to them. It’s also a source of occasional frustration and conflict. Aside from increased censorship by social media platforms, you risk offending others no matter how you speak the truth in love. One time a woman unfriended me after I advised her not to sow discord amongst my other friends (Proverbs 6:19) regarding another minister we had differing opinions.

I’ve also had preachers promote their ministries and make fundraising appeals on my Facebook pages despite asking them to stop. That prompted me to change my account settings. Friends can only write comments in response to my articles and praise reports. Still, people will post stuff irrelevant to my writings. Usually, I remove these posts but have unfriended individuals who won’t respect my boundaries. In recent years, I’ve blocked (but not unfriended) many people on Messenger. With close to 5,000 friends from all over the world, I don’t have time to chat with everyone.

Another thing that has irritated me is Facebook Groups. Until a couple of years ago, friends were able to add me to these groups without my permission. A few of them took offense when I asked them to stop. One minister from India I met at a conference in South Carolina added me to two groups despite my sending two previous emails asking him not to do that. This time I emailed him two reminders: first privately but then posted a comment directly on the group page since he wasn’t checking his inbox. This minister unfriended me.

A few days before that, a Canadian pastor who friended me (but I never met in person) added me to a Facebook group promoting him and his wife. After immediately leaving that group, I sent an email asking him not to add me to any groups. This minister responded by blocking me. That’s a bit extreme. All I did was make a simple request.

I pray all my brothers and sisters in Christ grow up and pursue His purposes instead of their agenda. We are all called to reach the world but not necessarily associate and work with everybody who calls themselves a Christian. As Mike Murdock says, “Your Assignment is not to everybody, but to somebody.”

"For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified." - 1 Corinthians 2:2

An Open Letter to Mark Zuckerberg

Dear Mr. Zuckerberg,

I’m a traveling missionary who’s been using Facebook now for over ten years. It’s a marvelous tool to help me reconnect with old friends, meet new people and minister to them. However, there are a couple of things I don’t like about your social media site. They are serious enough to me where I’ve considered leaving Facebook completely.

One of them is being forced to use Messenger if I want to send a private message through my smartphone. It often results in other Facebook friends trying to start up chat sessions with me. I liked it better when my chat room could be kept off and not let everyone know I’m online. I’ve had to use the “block messages” function with individuals who persist in initiating conversations with me. I don’t want to be rude but maintain boundaries and limit distractions. Some of my friends won’t even use Messenger because of privacy concerns. 

Another intrusive feature I loathe even more is Facebook groups. Since 2010, friends have been able to add me to these groups without my permission (yesterday I was added to three of them without being asked). This has been a recurring annoyance. Being added to groups results in extra emails sent to my inbox that I don’t care to read. Not only that, my membership to these groups are automatically made public even if I have no interest in them. It’s especially annoying when I have to remove my name again from a group after being added a second time. This can happen if I leave a group using my smartphone. I don’t have the option of preventing my name from being added again like from my laptop.

Yesterday, a fellow minister sent me an article explaining your desire to use Facebook groups to build “meaningful communities” and “bring the world closer together.” Regardless of your intentions, that hasn’t changed my aversion toward groups. Unless changes are made and people are allowed to be invited first (like with Fan pages), I will not be part of any Facebook group.

In the past, I made a few exceptions. In 2015, I had a new song aired on Dr. Demento’s radio show and briefly joined his Facebook group to connect with listeners interested in my music. The problem is when some people see you’re part of one group, that gives them ideas to add you to other groups.

In closing, I want to commend you and your wife Priscilla for your desire to give most of your wealth to charity  However, I must remind you that we will all pass away from this life to the next. Good works will not buy your way into heaven. I pray you will seek His Face so your name will be jotted into His Book (the book of life). That comes from entering into a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. Hopefully, you will then recognize the greatest mission God wants us involved in...preaching the gospel throughout the world so fewer people will spend eternity in hell.

“that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” - Romans 10:9

Online Boundaries

For about a month now, I’ve experienced an unexpected surge of friend requests on Facebook. Until recently I might get one or two per day. Now they’re pouring in at an unprecedented rate. One morning I woke up and had sixty new friend requests waiting for me! 

A fellow evangelist I often work with has also seen this happen but only accepts friend requests from people he already knows. As for myself, I will accept most of them as long as my potential friend appears to be a committed Christian. They must also have a legitimate profile photo.

At the time of this writing, I now have over 3,600 Facebook friends from different parts of the world. Most of whom I’ve never met personally. Yet many of them want to chat immediately after I accept their friend request. That prompted me to draft a letter that I now display on my Facebook page. This letter clearly outlines things I will and won’t do online. I’ve had to email this letter to new friends who apparently didn’t notice it the first time.

I’ve used the “block messages” function on Messenger but still remain friends with individuals who persist in initiating conversations with me. This is not meant to be rude but to limit unnecessary distractions. Often new friends ask questions (like “Where are you from?”) that can be answered by simply looking at my Facebook page or examining my website.

During His earthly ministry, Jesus set boundaries regarding the people He spent time with. Jesus commissioned twelve apostles but only allowed three of them (Peter, James, and John) to come with Him on certain occasions such as the Mount of Transfiguration. He later appointed seventy others to do His work but they weren’t as close as the twelve who gathered with Him at the Last Supper. Jesus still needed time to get away to fellowship with the Father. 

A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect from certain people. Often I implement a “three strikes you’re out” rule on Facebook. If someone persists in violating my wishes by tagging me or posting things I don’t want on my wall, I will unfriend them.

I encourage you to set boundaries for yourself, especially when using social media. We need to be cautious in not allowing the Internet to rob time that should be devoted to prayer, reading God’s word, and fulfilling the Great Commission.

“redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” - Ephesians 5:16