Facebook Frustrations

Facebook is a marvelous tool to connect with people and minister to them. It’s also a source of occasional frustration and conflict. Aside from increased censorship by social media platforms, you risk offending others no matter how you speak the truth in love. One time a woman unfriended me after I advised her not to sow discord amongst my other friends (Proverbs 6:19) regarding another minister we had differing opinions.

I’ve also had preachers promote their ministries and make fundraising appeals on my Facebook pages despite asking them to stop. That prompted me to change my account settings. Friends can only write comments in response to my articles and praise reports. Still, people will post stuff irrelevant to my writings. Usually, I remove these posts but have unfriended individuals who won’t respect my boundaries. In recent years, I’ve blocked (but not unfriended) many people on Messenger. With close to 5,000 friends from all over the world, I don’t have time to chat with everyone.

Another thing that has irritated me is Facebook Groups. Until a couple of years ago, friends were able to add me to these groups without my permission. A few of them took offense when I asked them to stop. One minister from India I met at a conference in South Carolina added me to two groups despite my sending two previous emails asking him not to do that. This time I emailed him two reminders: first privately but then posted a comment directly on the group page since he wasn’t checking his inbox. This minister unfriended me.

A few days before that, a Canadian pastor who friended me (but I never met in person) added me to a Facebook group promoting him and his wife. After immediately leaving that group, I sent an email asking him not to add me to any groups. This minister responded by blocking me. That’s a bit extreme. All I did was make a simple request.

I pray all my brothers and sisters in Christ grow up and pursue His purposes instead of their agenda. We are all called to reach the world but not necessarily associate and work with everybody who calls themselves a Christian. As Mike Murdock says, “Your Assignment is not to everybody, but to somebody.”

"For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified." - 1 Corinthians 2:2

Online Boundaries

For about a month now, I’ve experienced an unexpected surge of friend requests on Facebook. Until recently I might get one or two per day. Now they’re pouring in at an unprecedented rate. One morning I woke up and had sixty new friend requests waiting for me! 

A fellow evangelist I often work with has also seen this happen but only accepts friend requests from people he already knows. As for myself, I will accept most of them as long as my potential friend appears to be a committed Christian. They must also have a legitimate profile photo.

At the time of this writing, I now have over 3,600 Facebook friends from different parts of the world. Most of whom I’ve never met personally. Yet many of them want to chat immediately after I accept their friend request. That prompted me to draft a letter that I now display on my Facebook page. This letter clearly outlines things I will and won’t do online. I’ve had to email this letter to new friends who apparently didn’t notice it the first time.

I’ve used the “block messages” function on Messenger but still remain friends with individuals who persist in initiating conversations with me. This is not meant to be rude but to limit unnecessary distractions. Often new friends ask questions (like “Where are you from?”) that can be answered by simply looking at my Facebook page or examining my website.

During His earthly ministry, Jesus set boundaries regarding the people He spent time with. Jesus commissioned twelve apostles but only allowed three of them (Peter, James, and John) to come with Him on certain occasions such as the Mount of Transfiguration. He later appointed seventy others to do His work but they weren’t as close as the twelve who gathered with Him at the Last Supper. Jesus still needed time to get away to fellowship with the Father. 

A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect from certain people. Often I implement a “three strikes you’re out” rule on Facebook. If someone persists in violating my wishes by tagging me or posting things I don’t want on my wall, I will unfriend them.

I encourage you to set boundaries for yourself, especially when using social media. We need to be cautious in not allowing the Internet to rob time that should be devoted to prayer, reading God’s word, and fulfilling the Great Commission.

“redeeming the time, because the days are evil.” - Ephesians 5:16

Minnesota Not-So-Nice

In the state where I’ve lived most of my life, you sometimes hear the phrase “Minnesota nice.” Wikipedia defines it as “…the stereotypical behavior of people born and raised in Minnesota to be courteous, reserved, and mild-mannered.” That certainly wasn’t the case last weekend in the capital city of St. Paul. A protest on Interstate 94 turned violent resulting in 102 people being arrested and 21 police officers injured.

What triggered the protest was a police shooting the previous Wednesday in a St. Paul suburb. A black man named Philando Castile got pulled over for a busted taillight. Accordingly to fiancée Diamond Reynolds (who rode in the passenger seat), Philando was reaching for his wallet when a Latino officer fired four shots at him. Diamond then used her cell phone to live-stream the aftermath on Facebook. A ten minute video of Philando bleeding to death and Diamond’s subsequent arrest quickly went viral.

Claims of police targeting African-Americans resulted in the formation of the activist group Black Lives Matter. Personally I’m turned off by the BLM movement because of their practice of blocking highways. I would be furious if I found myself caught in a traffic jam caused by one of their protests. It certainly doesn’t earn sympathy from people trying to get to work (or worse delaying emergency vehicles). All lives matter...not just theirs.

It’s unfortunate the United States has a history of racism. Sadly some African-Americans respond with violence such as the one who shot and killed five police officers in Dallas, Texas on July 7th. In response to this and other recent shootings, Dallas-based African-American pastor T. D. Jakes said, “At the end of the day the blood that is shed on the streets is not black, it is not white, it is not brown – It is red.” Acts 17:26 says, “And He has made from one blood every nation of men to dwell on all the face of the earth…” There is no Scriptural basis for discrimination based on race.

Five decades ago a Baptist minister named Martin Luther King, Jr. experienced discrimination much worse than what most African-Americans face today. Yet Dr. King never used violence to take a stand for his civil rights. As a result, many streets and places are named after him today plus a federal holiday honoring his birthday.

So how should Christians respond to police shootings that are purportedly race-related? First we need to pray for our nation’s leaders especially those in law enforcement. Policemen are not perfect but still deserve our respect. Romans 13:1 says, “Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.”

We must also reach out to hurting people with the gospel. Jesus called us to be peacemakers (Matthew 5:9) and as His ambassadors we can be ministers of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18-20). A Facebook friend went with a friend of hers to minister and pray with BLM protesters standing outside the Minnesota Governor's Residence. She and her friend were well received after asking for forgiveness for the church’s past mistakes regarding racism.

One of my neighbors has a bumper sticker that says, “Just be nice.” There’s more we can do than telling people to do random acts of kindness. Changed hearts will result when we obey the Great Commission and people become born again.

“But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him.” - 1 Corinthians 6:17

Show Me Your Face

How would you respond if a new neighbor knocked on your door wanting to meet you but disguised himself with a mask or a hood? You would probably think that person is being weird or has something to hide. That same principle is true when connecting with people on the Internet.

Occasionally I receive Facebook friend requests from individuals that don’t have photos of themselves in their profiles. Usually, I’ll accept such requests if I already know the person. Some folks are not computer savvy and may not have photos readily available to post online. But if I don’t know the person, then I’m not obligated to accept their friend request.

One time I received a friend request from an evangelist I never heard of who had a lion’s face for his Facebook profile photo. I searched through his photo albums but couldn’t find a single picture of this man. Immediately I thought of the Don Potter song, “Show Me Your Face.” While that song is technically about seeking the Lord, I have come to the realization some Christians need to stop being so shy. Psalm 139:14 says we are “fearfully and wonderfully made.” Children of God should not be ashamed to show their faces in public.

Some people like to be creative and use artwork for their Facebook profile picture. But if you are looking to expand your circle of influence, it’s only common courtesy to have photos of yourself available for the public to see. A few individuals have told me they don’t like using email because it seems so impersonal. Even the Bible mentions the value of face-to-face communication. 2 John 12 says, “Having many things to write to you, I did not wish to do so with paper and ink; but I hope to come to you and speak face to face, that our joy may be full.”

I’m always open to meeting new people online. But if you are serious about knowing me, don’t hide your profile. Show me your face!

“So the LORD spoke to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend.” - Exodus 33:11